A repairman came today to check our AC because it wasn’t working, and last night I had a dream that when he came, our cat got out, and some mangy, dirty, white male dog about her height started humping her.
The next time I get a female cat, I’m naming her Princess Fédora Romazova.
It all started a few days ago when I decided that I was going to be a flapper for Halloween, and my husband, whether or not he agreed, was going to be a gangster. The only problem was, not that he didn’t have a fedora to wear, but my fedora (yes, I own a fedora) is green and corduroy– doesn’t scream gangster, does it?
Luckily, my friend stole her brother’s fedora, that he apparently wore in a production of Guys and Dolls and my husband’s costume was complete. Roaring 20s, here we come! (Or went. I’ll have to post pictures as soon as I figure out what I did with my digital camera’s cord.)
So, then I decided to look up ‘fedora’ in Wikipedia. (Honestly, I should know better than to ever use Wikipedia for anything, because it usually means wasting precious minutes hours days.) Much to my interest I found out that “fedora” came from a play written in 1882 by Victorien Sardou, called, of course, Fédora. The main character of this play is Princess Fédora Romazova.
Hours upon hours later, after personally discovering that Wikipedia leads to “the six degrees to Oscar Wilde” (via interesting side trips such as George Bernard Shaw and Arthur Schopenhauer) and therefore being absolutely positive I must have mistakenly stumbled upon Uncyclopedia in my random research, it hit me: there is no better name for a cat than Princess Fédora Romazova. I don’t own a cat; I’m not allowed to have pets where I rent, but I can think of no better reason to have one as soon as I’m able.
…Of course, for short, we’ll call her Fedora. And it’s going to sound really funny when we take her to the vet and have to take our last name, and put down “Princess Fédora Romazova Jones” on the sheet… Perhaps we could hyphenate and include my maiden name, “Princess Fédora Romazova Tatar Jones”? When/If she has babies, they can be Princess Fédora Romazova Tatar Jones the Second and The Third and The Fourth and well, so on. (I’m thinking this could be a disastrous decision for a rabbit breeder, no?)
Now, please, don’t be jealous of my perfect name choice. Not everyone can be as creative, brilliant, and humble as I am. There will always be other, more suited names, such as, well… Fluffy or… Cat.