hip to da funk
I’m going to be trying to blog here a little more often, which might mean you’re going to see some things that appear out of the norm compared to the more serious (and occasionally silly tone) I’ve take on so far. But, remember, this is an asylum, so you can chalk it up to me being crazy and move on.
(By the way, 73 points to the person who knows where my blog’s tagline comes from… Husband, you aren’t allowed to play. Oh, and the points are like on Whose Line– they don’t mean anything… Well, I guess you can read the credits.)
To start with, I’d like to share a little rant. I’d like to call this one “OMG lYk LaUrEn ReAlLy Is A gIrL.” I hope it doesn’t ruin my badgirl rep. I’d hate to not be hip to da funk any longer.
Okay, so Cover Girl used to make this powder foundation called Trublend… erm… Powder Foundation. It was in a silver case and came in a box. It was discontinued.
1. The replacement product– Trublend Mineral Foundation– is horrific. It doesn’t cover and it’s chalky and it comes with a stupid little brush that is useless and dumb and retarded and etc., instead of a sponge. I think I’m going to give it to my cat to play with, since she usually knocks everything off my dresser anyway. The reviews on CG’s website are horrible, no one likes it. Some people said that it makes them break out in acne or hives and it’s really harsh. Honestly, that’s what I look for in something I put on my face. The only thing missing from it is a little bacon grease.
2. I don’t wear any other makeup other than this particular foundation, just for the purpose of covering zits basically, because at the age of 25 I still get them at the same intensity that I did when I was going throuhg puberty. ahem. That’s it. So, I’m not a makeup person, I don’t do this much and I don’t do vanity and it’s mostly so I don’t go out in public looking like a freak ogre thingy (and plus the stuff helps my skin) and so this is important for me.
3. I am pale. No other brand or foundation, even by Cover Girl, works for me. Everything, including ivory pale China Doll white pastey paint makeup is too dark for me. Acrylic Gesso for priming canvas is too dark for me. I found something that worked, finally, and now they go and discontinue it.
(I’d like to offer some proof for this particular section of my rant. Here is a picture of my leg, and the white railing on the porch of my apartment complex.)
4. Now, I will be forced to purchase my foundation for 3-packs-for-the-price-I-used-to-pay-for-one from Ebay and I’ll probably end up buying some fake quinine-laced foundation of death. Oh, well, at least I won’t get Malaria.
So, as you can see, I am having a bit of a problem. My question is: vinegar is the miracle of all miracles– using it full strength cleans coffee pots and rust stains, spraying it gets rid of onion smells or works as fabric refresher, drinking it helps you lose weight, tones your face, gives you shiny hair, and yesterday, my bottle of vinegar water opened the cabinet door, walked to the desk and balanced our checkbook. Will vinegar work as a suitable replacement for foundation?